The moment parents realize their child might be delayed in a certain area, such as speech or walking, we often try to talk ourselves out of it. Here are common thoughts:
1. "My doctor said that boys often talk later than girls."
2. "I think the reason my daughter isn't walking is because she's learning to do other things."
3. "My son isn't talking because his older sister talks for him."
4. "We put so much pressure on kids these days. Won't they all learn what they need to do in their own time? After all, no kid goes to college crawling/in diapers/etc."
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When I first realized that my son might have some delays, I had a pit in my stomach that wouldn't go away. I also had a lot of fear - what did those potential delays mean? Would he ever catch up to his peers? And was this about ME putting too much pressure on him to be "age appropriate?" Or was there really something wrong and he needed help?
Early Intervention will provide a free evaluation for children under the age of 36 months. You don't need a doctor referral - you can call them yourself. More info is avail in the "looking for therapy - age 0-3 yr" section, and "looking for my state's early intervention program" section.
However, if you are in the "I'm not ready to call EI yet, I just want to figure it out for myself," I totally understand. So this section is for you.
The first thing I would do is look for a development chart published by a reputable source. I have linked a CDC chart below as one example. [I realize that some parents are not a fan of developmental charts. They are usually the parents who realize their child has a delay. I totally understand the fear and negative reactions to charts, because I was there too.]
Here is the CDC chart that I mentioned above:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/interactive/milestones/social_index.html
1. Click on the age of your child
2. Social & Emotional info will appear
3. Select another tab at the top. For example, "Movement."
4. Click on the age of your child
5. "Movement" info will appear
Example: My son is 18 months old. I feel like something is wrong with his speech. Is he delayed?
Click on 1 year (12 months):
Social/Emotional:
Shy or anxious with strangers
Cries when mother or father leaves
Enjoys imitating people in his play
Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys
Tests parental responses to his actions during feedings
Tests parental responses to his behavior
May be fearful in some situations
Prefers mother and/or regular caregiver over all others
Repeats sounds or gestures for attention
Finger-feeds himself
Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed
Movement:
Reaches sitting position without assistance
Crawls forward on belly
Assumes hands-and-knees position
Creeps on hands and knees
Gets from sitting to crawling or prone (lying on stomach) position
Pulls self up to stand
Walks holding on to furniture
Stands momentarily without support
May walk two or three steps without support
Hand and Finger Skills:
Uses pincer grasp
Bangs two objects together
Puts objects into container
Takes objects out of container
Lets objects go voluntarily
Pokes with index finger
Tries to imitate scribbling
Cognitive:
Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing, dropping)
Finds hidden objects easily
Looks at correct picture when the image is named
Imitates gestures
Begins to use objects correctly (drinking from cup, brushing hair, dialing phone, listening to receiver)
Language:
Pays increasing attention to speech
Responds to simple verbal requests
Responds to "no"
Uses simple gestures, such as shaking head for "no"
Babbles with inflection (changes in tone)
Says "dada" and "mama"
Uses exclamations, such as "Oh-oh!"
Tries to imitate words
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Example continued: "Ok, well based on the above list, I'm concerned about the language part. He doesn't respond to simple requests, doesn't use simple gestures, doesn't babble or use words, and he doesn't try to imitate words. It looks like he's not at the level of a 12 month old for speech. So yeah, it looks like there is a speech delay."
At this point, often doctors will suggest a "wait and see approach." Specifically what they will say is, "I see what you mean. Let's wait until his 2 year old appointment and we'll see if his speech is better then." They will often do this because they don't want to needlessly scare parents if there is nothing wrong with the child.
"While I personally appreciated my pediatrician's reassurances, in hindsight I do feel like it wasted valuable time. I should have just called EI myself." - Karen, Mom to Lily, age 30 months.
Am I a big fan of EI? Sure, they are great. But I'm more of a fan of taking some sort of action, rather than just worrying and waiting. That can include EI, working with your child one-on-one (1:1) at home, hiring someone to work with your child, reading up to see what other parents are doing for their kids, or all of the above.
For info on how to help your child at home, see the section: "Looking for ways to help my child at home."
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